OOM: The Home Lecture

[command_dot_com]

[Back in Milliways: Enzo's little jaunt is Big News to his sister... And he's going to get a TALK.]

After spending a couple of microseconds in the bar, Dot finished up work for the office, and headed straight home to wait for Enzo to show up. She had filed away the list of people Enzo should stay with if neither Bob nor Dot were with him at the bar. It wasn't a very long list in any sense. She was expecting, at the very least, an argument over the fact she had made one.

It wasn't long before the sprite in question came home...

Comments

[a1enzo]

"Users can get infected?!" It's just one worldview-overthrowing bombshell after another in Milliways!

[command_dot_com]

"Apparently..." Yeh Dot double-checked to make sure the bar wasn't tweaking her circuits on that one. "They can. They're people. Like us."

[a1enzo]

"Yeah, but there's stuff that's different too," remembering Foxtrot's explanations regarding User clothing and water-cooled humans. "Oh, that reminds me, I had something to ask ya!"

[command_dot_com]

"Oh... Well let's hear it!" Has no idea what kind of question is going to be asked. Probably shouldn't sip that java while it is being asked.

[a1enzo]

"What's lingerie?"

[command_dot_com]

There is a fine spray of hot java sprayed across the table of their apartment and Dot has to cough a few times to clear her throat. "Who..wha.. ...why are you asking what that is?!"

[a1enzo]

"Um, 'cause I don't know..." Duh, Dot.

[command_dot_com]

And then it clicks.

"...Foxtrot." An eyeroll and a mildly annoyed look. "Ofcourse... Enzo. This is an adult thing. They're fancy clothes for adult sprites."

[a1enzo]

"Yeah, Foxtrot said to ask Bob, buuut I figured you'd know too!"

Sigh. Enzo knows how this goes. "And anything more I ask you, you're gonna say you'll tell me when I'm older." There is slouching and sulkiness.

[command_dot_com]

And the facepalming. "I'm going to skin that fox for this..." Dead fox. Oh so very dead kitsune.

"Enzo. ...remember when you asked how sprites are initialized?"

[a1enzo]

Enzo perks up. "Yeah... just barely, it was hours ago... am I old enough for that one, then?"

[command_dot_com]

If it were up to Dot, this talk wouldn't be happening until Enzo was 1-0 or 1-1. Thanks to a meddling kitsune, who will get appropriate treatment for this, it's been moved ahead. "Alright... ...when two sprites love each other very much... They'll get together in private and there's something called a plug in involved..."

And it gets into all of the bit-ridden details. Later Dot is going to need a strong drink and few tablets of Aspirin code. She will get her revenge on the MIGRAINE-coded chaos spirit that started this. Somehow.

[a1enzo]

"Uh-huh..."

"WHAT?!"

"They really..."

"And this is fun?"

"Okay..."

"Oh, neat!"

"Gheeee. Glad I'm a boy."

And so on. It's very weird, but it would probably be a lot weirder if his recent discovery of Milliways hadn't totally recalibrated his scale.

[command_dot_com]

"And that's it. ...Any questions?" Yeh it's weird. It's weird the fact that his sister has to give him this speech too, but Bob would spontaneously fragment himself if he had to give this talk.

[a1enzo]

Silent pondering for a moment. "So... Matrix and AndrAIa...?" Weeeeeeeird.

[command_dot_com]

Oh Enzo, you've been picking up Bob's cluelessness.

"...Yes." As much as she'd like to beat Matrix over the head repeatedly with a zipboard for doing that, he's at least been responsible.

[a1enzo]

Now comes the inevitable sidelong glance. "You and Bob?"

[command_dot_com]

BACKSPACE ENZO. This is space where Guardians dare not tread!

"Enzo. your room. NOW." Dot's turning an interesting shade of red.

[a1enzo]

"What?! What'd I say?"

[command_dot_com]

"What Bob and I.. ...we haven't. But it is -not- any of your business. Got that copied to memory?"

Yeh. Can you tell someone is frustrated?

We can't. No. Really. We can't.

[a1enzo]

"... yeah. Okay." Private topic. Got it. "Sorry.

... do I still have to go to my room?"

[command_dot_com]

"...No. You don't have to go to your room." She looked tired and worn out again. "...You going to keep Milliways a secret?"

[a1enzo]

"Why do I... ohhhh. Yeah. It'd sound random, wouldn't it?" He grimaces. "I'll try..."

On the other hand... this is something he has that he doesn't! Enzo suddenly looks a whole lot happier.

[command_dot_com]

"Yeh. That. I thought Bob was random when he told me. ...And if you can keep it a secret, I'll see about getting you another birthday party in Milliways, on top of your First one." May as well sweeten the pot for the kid to keep his input shut.

[a1enzo]

"...no WAY! Oh, pixelacious! Anything else you want me to keep a secret?!"

[command_dot_com]

Dot pauses for a moment thinking. "Yes a few things. One. For the love of code don't pester Bob about this topic. Two, no telling Foxtrot about any of my spare projects. And... ...I think I might have you run out and get some small bots and a mesh code for me. For a side project." A certain kitsune is going to have his image plastered all around Milliways. "Alright?"

God what the mun would give for a DEVIOUS icon right now

[a1enzo]

"You bet!" Two parties, one in Milliways! Now he can catch up to the right number! Dude!

[command_dot_com]

"Good... Now I've got some dinner in the charger, you feel like dinner before I check your homework?"

And thus..another night in the Matrix family home passes on. With some plotting to utterly humiliate a certain kitsune.